on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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