I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
