and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
