The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
