my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
