i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
