I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
