Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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