thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
