i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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