After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Randomize
