I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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