why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
