when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
