I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
