Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
