Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's blow job season.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
