she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
