Me too!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
