I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
