It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize