Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
