Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
