i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
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