its not stalking. its research.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
