I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
