dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
