We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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