I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
