Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
