he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
