I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This is my gift to your gina
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
