I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
