I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
