4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
