watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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