I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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