does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
