It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize