I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
