Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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