Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
