last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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