I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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