You smell like a Billy Joel song
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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