what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
