why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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