You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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