my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
