I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
