i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Every concussion has its silver lining
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize