Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
