you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
