I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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