Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
