come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
