I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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