Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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