it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize