we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
