Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
