five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
