We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
