I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
