Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize