I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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