Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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