I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
