I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
