You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
did i just pee glitter
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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