this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
