my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I had to cum in my sink.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
