so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
