My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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